See Me Win, See Me Lose

How much of it can you see

From the sidelines, I wonder.

Please pay close attention

While I tear myself asunder.

 

Can you see me glowing

When their knees give way

And they fall back to earth

Like marionettes of clay?

 

Do you hear the forced laughter

Like dry leaves burning?

And see their dulled eyes slide

Clockwards with yearning?

 

Do you see his pained grimace?

See his head thrown back?

And so on and so on…

Ad infinitum.

I live for moments like these.

I’m not even kidding.

 

 

Because we don’t play

This light game lightly.

We who kill and would kill again

Ever so slightly.

 

Here, competing

Versions of reality

Crash after take-off.

Have you seen my flaw?

My version of reality?

 

I play the players, not the court.

I want to make someone feel

They’re in my way

And regret it.

 

This instinct, laid bare

In unthinking motion,

Is a brilliant, blind,

Bloody-minded notion.

 

Still,

You wouldn’t see me win

If you never saw me lose.

They lend each other meaning.

I accept this much.

 

Just don’t expect to hear me say it.

CATEGORIES:
Poetry
No Blank Spaces
No Blank Spaces

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